I posted this to my local mom’s group and my LiveJournal community that I was more active in at the time. I was quite pleased with myself that I totally got quite a few friends w/it. Of course, nothing even remotely remarkable that I ever post on 4/1 in either of those places or say to any of the people involved will ever, again, be believed.
OK, everyone knows I am not too careful about where I put my keys, purse etc. and locking doors and all that. DH is always getting pissed at me but I usually just think he’s overly paranoid because he grew up in a country where stuff would get stolen out of the back of a pickup while stopped at a stop light.
So … this morning I go to Publix and forget to lock the van. And, like I always do, I leave my purse in the van because I just take my credit card in my pocket so I don’t have anything to carry. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of leaving the keys in my purse and not hanging them back up where they belong so the second set of keys for the van is usually still in my purse from some other time rather than back where they belong. Does anyone see where this is going???Yup. I get back out from my little shopping trip and can’t find the van. Of course, I often forget where I parked so this isn’t too unusual but after wandering around where I was sure I parked I’m just lost. I’m pushing the buttons on the key thingy like mad to lock it back so I can hear the horn and find it… nothing. No van. Shit shit shit.
So I’ve spent the last 1.5 hours doing a police report (oh, and it was the same guy that came out to my house that time. I feel like a total jackass now. No, officer, it wasn’t locked. Yes, my purse was in the van. Yes, it had spare keys in it. <me smacks head> So he brought me home (thank dog we have that keypad on the garage door or I’d be breaking into the house…) and here I sit trying to figure out what the hell to do now. The van is lo-jacked so hopefully… Does insurance even pay when it is stolen because the insured is a total MORON??? DH’s head is going to explode when I tell him this. I will never ever ever hear the end of this. Maybe they’ll recover it before he gets home.And just how the hell am I going to get the boys. I have no carseats… Well, one spare booster for DS1. Can I just go hide under my bed now and not deal with this???
Of course, the main reason this worked well is because anyone who knows me knows that it is totally plausible. I should’ve sent it to DH, too. That would’ve had more than a little potential to backfire but he totally would’ve believed it. For the exact reason stated above.
